What Is True Suffering? A Man Cold!

After years of deriding men for being such babies when they have a cold while we women have to slog through our daily lives with or without a cold, I now have shamefully to face a harsh reality: a man cold is worse than a regular cold. We all know that men appear to be pretty wussie when they have what we women have always regarded as the sniffles. The cold-suffering man lies listlessly on the sofa, wishing the proverbial someone--a wife or the nearest female--would fluff his pillow, hand him the remote lying inches from his hand, bring him a cool drink or something to soothe his troubled brow. He occasionally tosses in a sigh or a moan for good measure. Any female in the proximity rolls her eyes in disgust as she does or does not comply.

We women have looked askance at cold-suffering men for generations, basking in our own superiority. We say things like, "If men had to be pregnant for nine months, or--God forbid--give birth, civilization would have ended with pre-CroMagnon man." Or maybe we just continue to roll our eyes at the pathetic heap on the couch, knowing that we are tougher, stronger--heck, let's face it--better. I have been as guilty as the next woman.

Usually, when we get a cold, we grab a box of tissues along with the car keys or brief case or the children as we head out the door for our daily grind. Our noses become raw, our eyes, red, but the the work still gets done whether in the workplace or at home. Or at least that's what I had believed until I myself was the victim of a man cold.

A man cold, I now know, is far different from a woman cold. This epiphany came to me as I lay on the couch for two days, sniffling and coughing, too helpless to do anything else. And, worse yet, I don't have a wife to wait on me, with or without the rolling eyes or the looks of disdain. No, I was a woman with a man cold left to suffer on my own. It was horrible.

As one now aware of the existence of the man cold, I have a suggestion for Big Pharma. Spend less time researching things like pills we only have to take once a month to improve bone density, for example. All right, Sally may be right, and taking a pill once a month for osteoporosis might be more convenient than taking a pill once a day. But really? By the time someone needs a drug for osteoporosis, isn't she at least taking a daily vitamin or another drug any way?

If medical research can redirect some of its focus to something like a cure for the common cold, or at least the man cold--and having a a man cold is suffering--then I say, "Focus people! Sore throats, congested chests, stuffy noses, and raspy coughs demand attention now. Please?

Dear Santa: Please Bring Fat Bankers Some Gratitude and a Memory

"Merry Christmas." I think not. More like "Bah. Humbug!" Or "Mine! Mine! All mine!" After the American taxpayer bailed out the big financial institutions so that they wouldn't go under and pull us all down with them, Wall Streeters' bottom lines are healthy, their stock prices up, and their bonuses and salaries are huge. Hello Ebenezer!



And now, when Congress is entertaining some regulations for the institutions that ran amok, gambling as if they could never fail until they did, those same fat cats are sending in armies of their lobbyists to fight even the idea of changing anything. After all, they wonder, we're fine now. Why dwell on the past? When were we ever near financial ruin? Trust us!



They just don't get it. Why in the world not? Their kind of free enterprise was only free to them.. It cost us taxpayers plenty, and some are still paying with eminent foreclosures and nonexistent jobs. You guys are so very, very welcome. If their own personal investors had wiped out a wad of their very own money by engaging in ridiculously risky practices, would those fat cats give them a raise, a big bonus, and tell them to keep on doing what they were doing? You and I both know there is no way in hell that they would. They'd fire them in a heartbeat and warn all their friends not to trust that investor. If an MBA candidate failed an exam because he or she hadn't studied for it, would their recommendation be, "Don't bother studying the next time either. Maybe you'll get lucky." Come on! Give me a break. People who gamble until they lose everything and then keep repeating the same behavior are candidates for Gamblers Anonymous. Who in his right mind would give that gambler their life savings and send them off to Vegas? That seems to be what Big Banking expects from us taxpayers.



Also get a grip, reform-resisting members of Congress. At least pretend that you learned something. It's only been a little over a year now since we teetered perilously close to financial Armageddon. How short are your memories? Has the Haitian from Heroes been at your brains? The financial regulatory system we have now did not prevent or even alert us to the biggest economic disaster since the Great Depression, did it? No!



I suggest that both the bankers and the reform-resistant members of Congress find their ethics and their souls and/or different campaign contributors (in the case of Congress) and take a good hard look at our broken financial regulatory system and fix it. ASAP. If they don't, those Congressmen and women and the greedy fat cats will be on Santa's Naughty List and mine.